In this blog you may come across the word ‘self-leadership’ and I recall when I first heard it that I would wonder what does that mean?
I’d heard it through the work I facilitate as a 3 Vital Questions trainer. I knew that David, the founder of the organisation I was certified with, the Center for the Empowerment Dynamic, was a leadership and organisational development professional involved with executive education. So, I just thought it sounded like something for executives in boardrooms.
But the truth is, self-leadership is for all of us, especially those of us who’ve known hardship, trauma or the feeling of being at the mercy of others’ choices.
Self-leadership is the practice of guiding yourself with clarity, compassion, and courage. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about recognising that, even on the days we feel powerless, we still hold influence over how we respond, how we grow and how we live.
Here are five key elements that make up self-leadership:
1. Self-Awareness
This is where it begins. Understanding your unique strengths, weaknesses, values, and how your actions affect others. It means noticing your intentions and motivations, and becoming familiar with what triggers your emotional responses. Awareness is the torchlight we carry into the darker corners of our experience.
Do you know what your Top 5 Strengths are? It’s such a refreshing and eye-opening gift to yourself to see your strengths documented, not ones you made up, but what comes out as a result of the Clifton Gallup StrengthsFinder we use in our coaching. I’d be happy to set you up with access to the online Quiz and you’ll have your results in less than an hour. Just reach out and ask me.
2. Self-Empowerment
This is about habits and practices that help you take charge of your life rather than being a passive observer. It might look like setting boundaries, following through on what matters, or giving yourself permission to rest. Self-empowerment is not forceful; it’s steady, grounded, and deeply personal.
3. Commitment to Personal Growth
Healing and growth are lifelong journeys. This element is about curiosity and courage: asking for feedback, exploring your values, and reflecting on your experiences. It’s choosing to keep learning, even when it’s uncomfortable, because each insight helps you evolve.
4. Authentic Purpose
When you know your why, you have a compass. Authentic purpose is about discovering the values and passions that drive you. It’s not about chasing someone else’s expectations; it’s about living in alignment with what matters to you, so your life feels meaningful and true.
5. Resilience
Setbacks, losses, and challenges are part of life. Resilience is what helps us keep moving through them, not by denying the pain but by choosing to adapt and carry on. Resilience says: I can bend without breaking. I can keep walking toward what I want, even when the ground feels unsteady.
At Blue Borage, I believe self-leadership is not a luxury, but a life skill.
It helps us notice when we’re pulled into drama, and it gives us tools to step into empowerment instead. It allows us to model new ways of being — for our children, our communities, and for ourselves. I see it as an essential life skill we all could have done with learning as children… who knows where we would have been now if we had those skills.
So I leave you with this reflection: Which of these five elements feels most alive for you right now? And which one is asking for a little more of your attention?
I hope to see you on a Conversation Cafe sometime soon and if you’re curious about self-leadership and having a personal coach as your guide to explore that for yourself, I’m here for you.
Thank you for being here,
Susan