This post is pinned to the top of the Blue Borage blog as a statement of intention for how our Conversation Cafés are held. It reflects the values, structure, and leadership stance guiding this work as we move into 2026.

At Blue Borage, we hold Conversation Cafés because being in conversation is one of the most powerful conditions for change.

Loneliness is widespread and has real health impacts

Loneliness isn’t just a feeling; it affects our physical and mental health in measurable ways. Former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has described loneliness as a “deep pain” that increases risk for depression, anxiety, heart disease, dementia, and early mortality. It’s linked to how social media prioritises quantity over quality in connection, and the loss of meaningful relationships in favour of superficial contact. People.com

Another recent survey found that more than half of adults feel lonely or emotionally disconnected, even in the midst of busy social lives. These feelings of disconnection are strongly associated with stress and poorer mental health outcomes. People.com

These trends underscore why spaces designed for intentional connection matter. These trends are about the general public.

So when we were shaping conversations on a topic that has been a taboo to talk about at all, I wondered what the researchers and statisticians would tell us about the loneliness of survivors and others affected by SSTA. In my heart I felt a deep knowing that we must come together to start saying the words out loud, to practice gentle, kind conversations, around SSTA, with every voice welcome to be heard.

I recognise that we are all different, so I can’t speak for anyone but myself, and that:

Connection isn’t simply online vs offline, but it is about depth, mutual presence, and intention. Conversation Cafés are precisely that: structured, human-centred interaction that goes beyond screens and likes.

Lasting Change

Over many years of leadership, I’ve learned that lasting change rarely comes from pushing harder or speaking louder. More often it came from slowing down, and a combination of preparedness and the readiness to step outside the comfort zone. It involves having the right conditions in place. Setting the structure up carefully with people feeling safe enough to think, listen, and speak honestly together.

Our Conversation Café events are designed with this in mind.

They are facilitated gatherings, guided by shared agreements, thoughtful questions, and clear openings and closings. The structure matters. How we enter the conversation matters. How we leave it matters too.

These spaces are not for everyone at every moment.

For some, clicking or typing into online peer support is a massively courageous first step, then there’s face-to-face in-person peer support which is highly regarded for its effectiveness, or being in individual therapy may be the most supportive option right now. Each serves a different purpose, and each has value.

Our Conversation Cafés are for those who feel ready to lean in a little further.

Ready to:

• Sit with complexity.
• Build shared language around experiences that have often been carried alone.
• Reflect on what responsibility, repair, and change might look like over time.

The takeaways from these conversations are conversation starters in themselves. A collection of reflections, insights, and questions that belong to the global collective.

We do not distribute the audio or video recordings of the monthly Conversation Cafe events, as we offer our guests privacy, so vulnerability can be relaxed into. Recap newsletters and posts are created as one collective written output to remind us what was shared. We have seen that there is some dissociation during a conversation, and so it is important to give each person time to check in again, and to reflect afterwards.

What matters is what we choose to do with the outcomes from each event, together.

At Blue Borage, we approach this work as co-creators rather than collaborators carrying uneven weight. As a community we come with generosity, care, and a willingness to contribute to something larger than ourselves.

We are interested in change that lasts.

• Change that is thoughtful rather than reactive.
• Change that is supported by alignment, structure, and shared understanding.

This is the role our Conversation Cafés play. People coming may not be aware of that but we are. Quite often, the words ‘we are here for a good time, not a long time’ run through my mind. So let’s make the time we spend in conversation worthwhile.

These conversations are us quietly raising our voices globally, observing the knowledge gaps, writing and sharing to fill those gaps in, and all of it is done consistently and with intention.

We hope that you will join us in conversation through 2026.

Dates and times of our 2026 Calendar are below. These may change, however, we understand that it is helpful to block out the time in calendars.

Thank you for being here,

Susan Dunlop

Founder – Blue Borage